Boston has a better ring to it. Good luck getting that song out of your head. 😉 Spoiler alert: this is an emotional post after an emotional run!
I’m not going to bury the lead: I cried through my entire run. Technically I didn’t cry until minute 13, so I guess it wasn’t the entire run! It was honestly the best cry I’ve ever had, and I didn’t even know that was possible! All of a sudden, everything started making sense! Everything became so clear to me, and it was overwhelming.
I can honestly say that this was the first time I cried through a run! Ok, maybe once in college…
It was around minute nine when I started feeling my body aching, but in a good way- ‘hurt’s so good’ kind of thing. I’ve been running quite a bit since moving here, and oddly enough that was the first time feeling that kind of pain in a really long time. Then around the 13 minute mark, without warning from anywhere in my body, I just started bawling! I didn’t really know why I was crying, but sometimes that just happens…. Then I began to realize that this was the first time I had really mentally challenged myself in a long time! Even though I experience pain on many, many runs, this was just different!
All of a sudden, everything made sense! Then I just got this burst of happiness, and I started feeling… better! Even though I never even thought I had any issues or problems.
If you would have asked me a month ago, or even a couple weeks ago if I was feeling homesick/scared/abnormally lethargic, my honest answer would have been ‘no.’ But some kind of fear left my body during that run, because when I finished, I experienced runners high, something I experience maybe three times/year. It was a VERY different kind of runners high, but runners high nonetheless!
Ok, back to the run, because there’s more!. Around minute 20 (still emotional), this man who looked to be around 40 passed me, but then slowed down, so I awkwardly passed him shortly after. I think we both figured out at the same time that we run the same pace, so there were minutes where we’d run together. We didn’t talk, and that was ok! but it was so nice to run with someone at that moment and experience that sweet runner-to-runner connection. I’m sure this sounds incredibly weird.
My run ended and he kept going, but maybe like a minute or so later, he turned around and was running towards me, so we gave each other a high five! That high-five was a very uplifting moment for me!
You may be thinking, ‘does this girl never go out or talk to people?’ And I do! Lots of times! But I haven’t really made any connections with anyone until last night.
It seems ridiculous, I’m sure! But here’s reality: with the nature of my business, and the fact that I just moved to Vancouver without knowing anyone, loneliness just happens! I knew this going in, how could I not? Some weeks ago I was considering buying a coffee maker, but decided not to, because coffee’s something I like to go out for. Socializing with the barista is a great way to start the day. The lack of socializing is by far the hardest thing about my job. Ninety-five percent of all work related correspondence is via email, which is fine because it’s really the easiest way so grab all of the information I need. But I work a lot, so I really have to work harder to socialize than most other people.
The craziest part about having this break through was that it seemed to have come out of no where! I never honestly felt weird! I guess looking back, I could hypothetically see that I was just kind of living day-by-day, not really wanting to stand out, at the same time, I don’t know anyone, so I don’t want to hide. I’m independent almost to a fault, so I don’t actually feel something like this bothering me. Luckily, I still have the best of friends back home! It’s so exciting to talk to you all. 🙂
All in all, I don’t know where I’d be in life if I didn’t run. I make a lot of decisions when I run, and not only does it keep me healthy, but it just makes me more aware. And it’s a great way to explore. 🙂
Well, early bed time for me!
peace and love!